Have you ever felt like you literally had a war going on side of you?
We have been living in this new place for a little over a year now. I am at war with my flesh and spirit. My heart and soul belongs to the Lord Jesus. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was young. Once I realized the price He paid for my sins and the free gift He was offering of eternally life...the only thing I could do was to receive the gift and live my life for Him.
I find myself here in this place with an all out war going on inside. My flesh wants to pack up and leave in a heartbeat. If I was able to, I would have my bags packed in 30 minutes! I want to return to my friends and family and my own culture. I want to feel comfortable in my own home. I want to be able to walk down my street without feeling alone.
But my heart and soul are doing their best to follow the Lord. He has called us to serve in this place and share the great news of Salvation. Share the great news of what Jesus has done for them. But OH how I wish I could go home. Go back to serving the Lord in a church and with familiar faces and near family. How I wish I could have friends and speak in my heart language every day. How I desire to not feel so alone and always being stared at as if I had some type of plague or something.
Lord Jesus, I need you! Every hour I need you. Lord, help me to conquer this war within. Help me to stand firm and fight. Help me to finish this task you've called me to do. Help me to break through this "mood" or stinky attitude I have. I want to reflect your love and grace. I want to pour out fruits of the spirit. May my heart and soul overpower my flesh. May your Spirit reign in my life.
May you walk in His grace and confidence today. Let us all live with boldness for His Kingdom's sake!!
