Well, we've been living here for a year and a half. Cannot believe time has gone by so fast. I am still always amazed at how the Lord has trusted us and used us in this capacity. We are living on the foreign mission field. We've been serving now in our smaller village for over 6 months. We are now facing many new issues that have cause us to wonder what the Lord's plans are.
I have also been bombarded with so many thoughts about a previous location that we have served. I don't know what the Lord is wanting us to do. Is He wanting us to move back and pursue this? Is He wanting us to continue where we are. Lord...I need you now. I cannot do this on my own. I need your guiding hands upon me and to show me. I don't want to make the wrong decision. Lord help me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2021
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
The War Within
Have you ever felt like you literally had a war going on side of you?
We have been living in this new place for a little over a year now. I am at war with my flesh and spirit. My heart and soul belongs to the Lord Jesus. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was young. Once I realized the price He paid for my sins and the free gift He was offering of eternally life...the only thing I could do was to receive the gift and live my life for Him.
I find myself here in this place with an all out war going on inside. My flesh wants to pack up and leave in a heartbeat. If I was able to, I would have my bags packed in 30 minutes! I want to return to my friends and family and my own culture. I want to feel comfortable in my own home. I want to be able to walk down my street without feeling alone.
But my heart and soul are doing their best to follow the Lord. He has called us to serve in this place and share the great news of Salvation. Share the great news of what Jesus has done for them. But OH how I wish I could go home. Go back to serving the Lord in a church and with familiar faces and near family. How I wish I could have friends and speak in my heart language every day. How I desire to not feel so alone and always being stared at as if I had some type of plague or something.
Lord Jesus, I need you! Every hour I need you. Lord, help me to conquer this war within. Help me to stand firm and fight. Help me to finish this task you've called me to do. Help me to break through this "mood" or stinky attitude I have. I want to reflect your love and grace. I want to pour out fruits of the spirit. May my heart and soul overpower my flesh. May your Spirit reign in my life.
May you walk in His grace and confidence today. Let us all live with boldness for His Kingdom's sake!!
We have been living in this new place for a little over a year now. I am at war with my flesh and spirit. My heart and soul belongs to the Lord Jesus. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was young. Once I realized the price He paid for my sins and the free gift He was offering of eternally life...the only thing I could do was to receive the gift and live my life for Him.
I find myself here in this place with an all out war going on inside. My flesh wants to pack up and leave in a heartbeat. If I was able to, I would have my bags packed in 30 minutes! I want to return to my friends and family and my own culture. I want to feel comfortable in my own home. I want to be able to walk down my street without feeling alone.
But my heart and soul are doing their best to follow the Lord. He has called us to serve in this place and share the great news of Salvation. Share the great news of what Jesus has done for them. But OH how I wish I could go home. Go back to serving the Lord in a church and with familiar faces and near family. How I wish I could have friends and speak in my heart language every day. How I desire to not feel so alone and always being stared at as if I had some type of plague or something.
Lord Jesus, I need you! Every hour I need you. Lord, help me to conquer this war within. Help me to stand firm and fight. Help me to finish this task you've called me to do. Help me to break through this "mood" or stinky attitude I have. I want to reflect your love and grace. I want to pour out fruits of the spirit. May my heart and soul overpower my flesh. May your Spirit reign in my life.
May you walk in His grace and confidence today. Let us all live with boldness for His Kingdom's sake!!
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Living in a New Culture
Well...we've been here for 275 days now. Life on the mission field has not really been what I thought it would be. So many expectations that have fallen through and so many surprises that have opened my eyes even wider.
This first year my family and I are in language training. We go to language classes every day for 4 hours a day. By the time our classes end each day, our brains are fried. Blah! We can't think in English or Spanish. We just feel kind of numb.
I feel like I needed to write some today because of the way I've been feeling. Since we've been here I've felt like I've been on an emotional roller coaster. I fight days where I feel like I absolutely HATE it here and want to move back home. And then other days where I'm so thankful and blessed that the Lord is using us here. What a chaotic battle of the mind!! Some say, "just go back home, you've lasted longer than I would have." Other say, "stick it out, you can do it." But in reality, it's not so much about finishing or leaving, it's ALL about being obedient to our King, our Lord and Savior. It's about honoring Him and furthering His Kingdom. If it were up to us, we probably wouldn't have even came. But the fact is that He placed a calling on our life and we want to be obedient.
If you are reading this and facing problems and rough and tough situations in life...stick it out for the reason that He called you to do it. Know that He will walk with you through it. If He's called you to do it, He will be with you through ALL of it. Stand strong and fight the good fight.
I have to always remind myself...this small little time is NOTHING compared to eternity. Remember that some are headed for an eternity apart from Christ and apart from ALL that's good and great. It's worth it!! Jesus...it's all for you!!!!
This first year my family and I are in language training. We go to language classes every day for 4 hours a day. By the time our classes end each day, our brains are fried. Blah! We can't think in English or Spanish. We just feel kind of numb.
I feel like I needed to write some today because of the way I've been feeling. Since we've been here I've felt like I've been on an emotional roller coaster. I fight days where I feel like I absolutely HATE it here and want to move back home. And then other days where I'm so thankful and blessed that the Lord is using us here. What a chaotic battle of the mind!! Some say, "just go back home, you've lasted longer than I would have." Other say, "stick it out, you can do it." But in reality, it's not so much about finishing or leaving, it's ALL about being obedient to our King, our Lord and Savior. It's about honoring Him and furthering His Kingdom. If it were up to us, we probably wouldn't have even came. But the fact is that He placed a calling on our life and we want to be obedient.
If you are reading this and facing problems and rough and tough situations in life...stick it out for the reason that He called you to do it. Know that He will walk with you through it. If He's called you to do it, He will be with you through ALL of it. Stand strong and fight the good fight.
I have to always remind myself...this small little time is NOTHING compared to eternity. Remember that some are headed for an eternity apart from Christ and apart from ALL that's good and great. It's worth it!! Jesus...it's all for you!!!!
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
TRYING TO STAY ABOVE THE WATER
Swimming has always been a favorite activity for my family every since I was a child. I can remember going to the lake for the day, going to some friend's and family's homes that have pools, and playing in the creek.
I love to stay under the water for a long time and search for things and try to find hidden treasures. Several times, I have found items that others have lost. Goggles, a ring, $5 bill, paddles to boats, and many other things. I like to dive deep and catch crawfish too. However, I have a fear of drowning. I am afraid that one day I will not be able to make it back up to the top. I'm afraid that something will grab my leg or hold me under.
Life can be like this at times too. Since my family and I have recently moved to Ecuador, I have many days where I feel like something is pulling me under. It is my heart's desire to serve the Lord as faithfully as I can. But I have to admit...coming to live in this culture has been challenging to say the least.
I have great days when I'm so thankful the Lord called us to serve here. What an experience for us all right? I mean, we are getting to learn a new language, getting to see the sights and beautiful mountains, and meeting some very nice people. You would think I wouldn't have a thing in the world to complain about or be ungrateful about. But to be brutally honest...there are days when I'm ready to give up and throw in the towel. I want OUT of the water. I want out of this game. I want out of this place. There are days when I literally hate being here. I hate the fact that I am constantly on alert, making sure my children are safe, my belongings are not getting stolen, that I a safe while walking down this crazy city sidewalk. This culture is SO different from the culture that I grew up in.
I am an old, country boy from Big Cabin, Oklahoma. Many of you probably have never even heard of it. But I think several of you might have passed through it on the turnpike heading north toward Missouri or Illinois or somewhere while going through Oklahoma. But I grew up in a small community. I grew up living in the country where we had a huge back yard, horses to ride, dogs and cats, cows across the street, deer to hunt when we needed food, etc. I loved my childhood. Going from that to living in a huge city with like 3 million people, hardly any places with grass, the trees are scarce, horns always honking, concrete everywhere, and smog from all the buses. That gets old really fast.
I know, without a doubt, that the Lord has called us here. I know that many have experience the same types of issues that I am facing. We were even warned and trained for how to handle these things before we came. But I have to say, it is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.
So...how to I stay above the water day in and day out? How do I keep on fighting when I feel like there is nothing left to fight with. The Lord is still my Savior, but I feel like even my relationship with Him is kind of stale right now. I think this time of year with all the holidays are not helping the situation either. We've been approved to go home for the holidays, but I'm not sure that's the best thing. Maybe it would be good for us to visit family. It might make things worse. Plus, we don't have the money to go anyway. The Lord would have to provide that if we are to go. Who knows? Only He knows what's best.
I'm writing this today as an attempt to get out some of my feelings and try to get some understanding. Maybe someone out there that reads this will have some words of wisdom. Maybe someone out there will know what I'm feeling and how to help me. Maybe the Lord will send some encouragement or answers that I feel like we need.
Until then...I'll keep treading and trying to catch my breath when I can.
I love to stay under the water for a long time and search for things and try to find hidden treasures. Several times, I have found items that others have lost. Goggles, a ring, $5 bill, paddles to boats, and many other things. I like to dive deep and catch crawfish too. However, I have a fear of drowning. I am afraid that one day I will not be able to make it back up to the top. I'm afraid that something will grab my leg or hold me under.
Life can be like this at times too. Since my family and I have recently moved to Ecuador, I have many days where I feel like something is pulling me under. It is my heart's desire to serve the Lord as faithfully as I can. But I have to admit...coming to live in this culture has been challenging to say the least.
I have great days when I'm so thankful the Lord called us to serve here. What an experience for us all right? I mean, we are getting to learn a new language, getting to see the sights and beautiful mountains, and meeting some very nice people. You would think I wouldn't have a thing in the world to complain about or be ungrateful about. But to be brutally honest...there are days when I'm ready to give up and throw in the towel. I want OUT of the water. I want out of this game. I want out of this place. There are days when I literally hate being here. I hate the fact that I am constantly on alert, making sure my children are safe, my belongings are not getting stolen, that I a safe while walking down this crazy city sidewalk. This culture is SO different from the culture that I grew up in.
I am an old, country boy from Big Cabin, Oklahoma. Many of you probably have never even heard of it. But I think several of you might have passed through it on the turnpike heading north toward Missouri or Illinois or somewhere while going through Oklahoma. But I grew up in a small community. I grew up living in the country where we had a huge back yard, horses to ride, dogs and cats, cows across the street, deer to hunt when we needed food, etc. I loved my childhood. Going from that to living in a huge city with like 3 million people, hardly any places with grass, the trees are scarce, horns always honking, concrete everywhere, and smog from all the buses. That gets old really fast.
I know, without a doubt, that the Lord has called us here. I know that many have experience the same types of issues that I am facing. We were even warned and trained for how to handle these things before we came. But I have to say, it is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.
So...how to I stay above the water day in and day out? How do I keep on fighting when I feel like there is nothing left to fight with. The Lord is still my Savior, but I feel like even my relationship with Him is kind of stale right now. I think this time of year with all the holidays are not helping the situation either. We've been approved to go home for the holidays, but I'm not sure that's the best thing. Maybe it would be good for us to visit family. It might make things worse. Plus, we don't have the money to go anyway. The Lord would have to provide that if we are to go. Who knows? Only He knows what's best.
I'm writing this today as an attempt to get out some of my feelings and try to get some understanding. Maybe someone out there that reads this will have some words of wisdom. Maybe someone out there will know what I'm feeling and how to help me. Maybe the Lord will send some encouragement or answers that I feel like we need.
Until then...I'll keep treading and trying to catch my breath when I can.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Answering the Call
Well, that was a rough day yesterday. Yesterday, Sunday morning, we shared with our students and the congregation about the Lord calling us to serve on the mission field. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. When the ministry and things are going so well, we love our church family and community, and not wanting to leave our family and friends...it's rough to announce you're leaving it. Selfishly we don't want to leave. We love it here. We love everything about our ministry, our church, our community. But...we must be obedient to the call that the Lord has placed on our lives.
What do you do when the Lord begins to speak to your heart about something? When you open your Bibles and spend time in prayer with Him, as He begins to soften your heart or pull your heart into a certain direction, what do you do?
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
There have been many plans and desires in my life that I hoped for and wanted. Many of those plans have came true and many have not. I've learned to TRUST in my Lord and Savior. I've learned to listen to His gently whisper and hear when He speaks. I am a work in progress though. Not perfect, but doing my best.
I've learned that His ways and plans for my life are FAR beyond what I could ever imagine or dream up. My hope and prayer is that each day of life He gives to me that I make the most of it and not live it for myself, but for His name sake.
My encouragement to those that might read this some day is to answer the call He puts on your life. He will call you to do amazing and wonderful things. Trust Him. Listen for His voice in every and all circumstances of life. He already knows what you might go through, He already knows the possible outcomes, He already knows how you might feel or think about whatever it is, so just say Yes Lord, I'm listening and I will say or do whatever you call me to do.
What do you do when the Lord begins to speak to your heart about something? When you open your Bibles and spend time in prayer with Him, as He begins to soften your heart or pull your heart into a certain direction, what do you do?
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
There have been many plans and desires in my life that I hoped for and wanted. Many of those plans have came true and many have not. I've learned to TRUST in my Lord and Savior. I've learned to listen to His gently whisper and hear when He speaks. I am a work in progress though. Not perfect, but doing my best.
I've learned that His ways and plans for my life are FAR beyond what I could ever imagine or dream up. My hope and prayer is that each day of life He gives to me that I make the most of it and not live it for myself, but for His name sake.
My encouragement to those that might read this some day is to answer the call He puts on your life. He will call you to do amazing and wonderful things. Trust Him. Listen for His voice in every and all circumstances of life. He already knows what you might go through, He already knows the possible outcomes, He already knows how you might feel or think about whatever it is, so just say Yes Lord, I'm listening and I will say or do whatever you call me to do.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Growing Spiritually
If you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, do you desire to grow as a Christian?
To achieve success in a race, we must work out and practice and prepare. Much like in life, if we want to win and have the strength and preparedness to overcome our temptations and struggles, we must practice and grow as a believer.
This was from a devotional I recently read.
In Philippians 2:13-14, Paul says that the Christian life is a partnership involving God and you. God works in you to motivate you to desire to fulfill His purposes. Spiritual growth begins with God. God works in you before He can work through you.
The English word “energy” comes from the word translated “work” in verse 13. God’s divine energy is at work in you and through you. When you gave your life to Jesus, your eternal destiny was altered, a radical reorientation of priorities occurred, life took on a new purpose, and the Holy Spirit took up residence. But rather than providing instant liberation from every bad habit or character flaw you have ever possessed, what took place was more like the landing of an army on an island to establish a beachhead. It would take time for the army to root out the enemy. Likewise, it will take time for God to conquer your old, bad habits and flawed character traits.
Once God works in you, then you grow spiritually as you “work out” or “work to full completion” the traits God has instilled in you. When Paul writes, “work out your salvation” (verse 12), he is talking about a spiritual workout. What God has put in you requires time and training to work out. Spiritual growth necessitates ordering your life around the disciplines of prayer, solitude, Bible reading, worship, giving and serving. Allow God to work in you as you practice these disciplines, and you will see spiritual growth take place in your life.
Lord…help us to practice the disciplines that lead us to spiritual growth!!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
The Power Is Within Us
For I can do NOTHING on my own. All that I do and accomplish for the Kingdom is because of the power of the Holy Spirit living in me. 2 Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." We cannot live this Christian life on our own. It is impossible! Sometimes I've fallen into the trap of believe that if I only read more of His Word, pray harder, do more for Him that I can do great things for the Kingdom. But in all reality...I can do NOTHING without him.
The RELATIONSHIP that I have with Him is where the power is found. And how I treat that relationship is what determines how I grow or stay where I'm at. When we spend time with Him in prayer and bible study and obedience, that's where the power is found. That is where we become more like Christ. And the coolest part about that, it's also where we get to experience true living. We see fruits of the spirit being lived out in our lives. We see God do great things that we cannot even explain. He doesn't call us to be more Christ-like and then leave us out in the middle of the desert. He gives us His Spirit to fight against evil and to follow in obedience.
"Will God ever ask you to do something you are not able to do? The answer is yes--all the time! It must be that way, for God's glory and kingdom. If we function according to our ability alone, we get the glory; if we function according to the power of the Spirit within us, God gets the glory. He wants to reveal Himself to a watching world." ~Henry Blackaby
Let the Lord be revealed in our lives today!!
The RELATIONSHIP that I have with Him is where the power is found. And how I treat that relationship is what determines how I grow or stay where I'm at. When we spend time with Him in prayer and bible study and obedience, that's where the power is found. That is where we become more like Christ. And the coolest part about that, it's also where we get to experience true living. We see fruits of the spirit being lived out in our lives. We see God do great things that we cannot even explain. He doesn't call us to be more Christ-like and then leave us out in the middle of the desert. He gives us His Spirit to fight against evil and to follow in obedience.
"Will God ever ask you to do something you are not able to do? The answer is yes--all the time! It must be that way, for God's glory and kingdom. If we function according to our ability alone, we get the glory; if we function according to the power of the Spirit within us, God gets the glory. He wants to reveal Himself to a watching world." ~Henry Blackaby
Let the Lord be revealed in our lives today!!
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